The Beginning: Believe me when I say that I am writing is a maniacal fashion. Once again, I have been stood up by my dreadful husband on my day off! I can not believe it! This working thing has been going on as a casual battle of wits for the both of us. You see, there are some men who just wants his wife around, specially when he can afford it. In this day and age, I'll have to tell you that I consider my husband one of the "enlightened ones" when it comes to Women Empowerment and Equality of the Sexes. But there are times that he just regress to one of those caveman's who just wants you to agree to his way or the high way.
Hopefully, when he goes home, he'll give a plausible "enough" reason why he spent my whole day off outside our home. He had the whole week to himself, he is a proprietor so he has almost complete control of his time. This is the reason why he just wants to yank me around like an assistant to a celebrity. I always kid him that he is no Robin Padilla (even at times, specially when the room is really dark and you can't see your cat walking towards you two feet from your face, that he would resemble the Bad Boy of Philippine Showbiz ) But then I really missed the grind and undivided attention that a proper work offers, that's why I begged off from being a full time housewife and went back teaching English to adult Asians from Korea, China and Japan.
Anyways, what should I do?
In most Philippine households nowadays, both husband and wife commonly hold jobs to keep their family afloat. As for me, I have to keep boredom at bay, and maybe just try to do something with myself while I'm trying to have kids. The thing is, it's always good for the domestic finances to have multiple sources. We all know this already. But I am telling this for another reason.
It does not mean for us to increase splurges and "wants" from the 'needs and wants' department just because we can afford to. Excuse me? Yes, you read right. The right way to build up the family income is to work, and save the money from the second income. But sadly, most households can not afford this and I can not blame them.
Our standard of living is keeping abreast with our Asian counterparts, even if we are earning a lot less than most. Tell me, what's the first thing you think about once you get a raise? If you are someone like me, you'd say something like "I'LL TREAT MYSELF! I DESERVE IT! - as most good deeds do. The problem is when this "I DESERVE IT" attitude extended long after the novelty of the situation that brought it about in the first place dwindled. You have been promoted 6 months after and yet you are still splurging on a new wardrobe, just because you "deserve it".
The dark side of this "I Deserve It" Mentality, is that we begin to associate spending with our reward system. Anyway you see it, this is a dangerous thing to avoid at all cost. You see, some people who get too deep in debts are those who measure their personal worth on the amount of material things they accumulate. For them, shopping is a sport that one must indulge in as a reward for their hard work. For others, shopping is even an art that "must be perfected" like any other skill.
If this is the case, I say why not? IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT with your platinum credit card, jet setter card and celebrity status! By all means please do celebrate and help the Philippine economy. If you can not afford it, PLEASE STOP BURDENING YOUR FAMILY with empty shopping and maniacal splurges for things that you will be throwing out and giving away after the initial frenzy has come and go. I know, I've been there!
You will be able to save money if you turn the tables completeley with that "I Deserve to Shop" mentality to, "I Deserve to Save", for a stress free future. I know..I know! It takes a lot of work, mental challenge and an iron will to change. Thinking about changing for the better may sound scary, troublesome and straight down hard! Lifestyle changes always are. But think of the reason why you would want to.
Maybe, if you can stop your splurges with your "I Deserve to Shop" Mentality, you can finally:
1. Stop having money fights with your husband in front of the children.
2. Save for that dream house/car/*anything big you really want in the future like a 1 carat diamond earrings you've been eyeing for the longest time, in exchange of those 'affordable' shoes and bags you've been hoarding through the years which frankly amounts to squat. Nada! Do the Math. Or what about that trip to Paris you've always dreamed of. - Hey! I'm no money Nazi! I'm just giving advises on how to be smarter with your hard earned money!
3. Earn, yes...earn more time with your family by being more frugal at home. According to Philippine laws, money is support and support is love. Therefore it is safe to say that deduce that Money is Love. Aha! You have not really thought of it this way huh? Well, it is true. So if Love is money, and you are just giving away your money like shit...then, you must think shit of the one who gave you that moeny. Think long and hard, before you oppose what I have just written. Ever why there is a saying as "Reality Bites"? It does and just about in our ass when we do not pay attention.
....This needs a Part II, because the "INDYANERO" has finally open our gates and is home. Let's see what happens next! Hmp!!!
Mga kapatid, sisters and brothers, I hope this helps. See you next time and thanks! I will try to post every Thursday. MY DAY OFF!!!